LOVE ME BETTER

Love Me Better: Abstract type digital painting artwork by A.S

Central Jakarta, 27 November 2023

Some colors and shapes in the picture have meaning, such as honesty/truth, sin, ugliness, main problem, and God. This work tells the story of someone who is fighting against a mistake and is sinking. This work is inspired by ** story in June, July and August 2023. I took an abstract theme guided by "The Language of Color" from one of the books I found in the Jakarta Creative Media State Polytechnic library.

Someone who drowns in her guilt and feels so guilty for several months until she falls. She felt guilty for hurting someone she really loved, causing that person to be traumatized and unable to do anything because of her treatment. She also felt that what she had done was a sin that could not be forgiven or even forgiven by people or God. Apart from that, the fear in her mind continues to widen, she is afraid of becoming an public enemy and many people hate her because she is the source of problematic.

She gets too much information until she disappears or avoids communicating and meeting people for a while because her emotions are unstable. She continued to think about the information she got from night until night came again. She never prayed in her prayers, but she always talked about her feelings to God and cried. A loyal good friend from God who accompanied the process when she fell and tried to accept herself, sent a very deep thank you to her friends who were present when she fell.

God answers with time. Time comes little by little with the problems given as a closing drama, the truth is revealed little by little and there is no longer anything that can be denied. The answer is, she is wrong but not completely wrong. The information she previously received could be said to be incorrect, but it was not wrong either because the information was just an opinion taken without translating what it meant. God showed her the truth through the intermediary of friends, a truth that she did not expect, making her very fixated on the existing reality. The reality and the truth were not as bad as she thought, not as dark as when she fell at that time, and now she managed to get up.

The conclusion of the problems she has overcome and managed to recover from her bad thoughts is to love herself. "Love me better" is a message to herself so that she loves herself more than anyone else and a message to the people who already love her well and accept her for who she is. The lesson this year is not to love someone more than yourself, not to prioritize others more than yourself, and not to need to be the savior for someone who doesn't even want you.

It's really necessary to look around and feel that there are many people who purely from their hearts love me for who I am, not what I am. My gratitude to everyone who was sincere to me and helped me not to continue sinking. I also thank the someone I love for making me feel loved even though it was all just lies and sorry for making you get into this drama.

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